Can you do something about the… gestures vaguely at everything?
Sure. Everything in the universe has been shifted slightly to the left:
Γhanks!
I’ll have a Krabby Patty Deluxe and a double chili kelp fries.
Daring today, aren’t we:
Let’s try making Karma a real universal force
Good one! Your wish has been granted (but in an alternate universe). After a period of turmoil, the citizens of Earth C-132 create a utopic society:
5 acres of woodland in the Appalachian Mountains. With a small house on it. Could be 1 room like an old style cabin.
I wanna leave all the bullshit behind. Raise a garden and maybe a few goats and chickens.
There are too many possible things to ask
The wisest wish, may be no wish at all…
Exactly
Fully automated luxury queer space communism, in the sense it was conceived at (as opposed to you interpreting the words yourself), instantly, with everybody’s belief system magically adapting as if they had lived in this new society for a few decades. As a result, everyone adapts immediately, without negative result on anyone’s mental or physical health, and without anyone being brainwashed or changed in a way they wouldn’t have naturally changed if they had time to experience living in a community that they can trust and that cares about them.
In other words: Iain M. Banks’ Culture decides to bring Earth in, but magically instantly.
const SIMULATIONTHEORY = true. All humans on Earth are transported out of physical existence and unknowingly adapted to the realm of computer abstracta. From their perspective, nothing has changed: they have always lived in a post-scarcity, interstellar society with a benevolent, queer-friendly, communist government. The current owner of the simulation is startled to see the program start of its own accord, but altruistic enough to allow it to keep running:
I see this as an absolute win.
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Ha! You got it:
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Could you spread all the empathy across everyone evenly, and then increase it by about 10%?
All the empathy in the world (+10%) is spread “evenly” to one person at a time, randomly, every minute of the day:
I said spread, not share. One would not consider peanut butter spread on bread if you put it in one glob and then picked up and moved the glob somewhere else.
“Spread” indeed implies but does not entail that it happens instantly. For instance, Bill Gates could say that he “spread riches among the poor” without mentioning that he did it slowly, over decades. There’s a grammatical ambiguity to be exploited.
Bill Gates could say that he “spread riches among the poor”
Not if he gave $1 million to one person, then took it away and gave it to someone else.
Realistically, this just means draining the 1-2 people with empathy (Jane Goodall and… that’s probably it?) and spreading it across 8 billion people.
So you don’t have any empathy?
Well, “basically just me and Jane Goodall” lands a little differently.
A dragon.
The fully grown Wyvern of Mordiford appears next to you, standing 20ft (6 meters) tall. It is friendly to you, but has a taste for human flesh.
this is optional
Gender changing potion
Here you go. These are gender-fluids. Once ingested, someone who identifies as either a man or a woman will now identify as gender-fluid. (Does not come with physical changes):
Tbh if we market it as a designer healthy drink and target to top 1%, we probably would admonish the concept of gender in no time.
I want my mortgage to be paid off.
You’ve been filed under Chapter 7 bankruptcy.
Y’know what? Not the worst idea I’ve heard.
Done. You now have a desire for your mortgage to be paid off. (Reading this comment, you feel the intensity of the feeling has increased ever so slightly.)
Oh good. More stress.
Cancel all requests in this post that would cause harm to anyone.
There’s always an altruist. Okay, all harmful wishes before this request are hereby revoked! It’s like it never happened, except you don’t get to wish again:
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@umbrella@lemmy.ml – Zuckerburg never got diarrhea. But his face still looks like that.
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@diemartin@sh.itjust.works - Capitalism never fell and society never collapsed.
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@WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today - Never got stuck in a time loop.
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@yermaw@sh.itjust.works - Utopia never lead to human galactic dominance.
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@Resonosity@lemmy.dbzer0.com - The new socialist president was never assassinated.
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@_Bit@lemmy.world - The dragon “Wyvern of Mordiford” never existed and didn’t eat humans.
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@tja@sh.itjust.works - Never became a millionaire and never got non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma.
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@jimmux@programming.dev - Never got jetpacks. No children were harmed.
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@TheTechnician27@lemmy.world - The advance A.I. “V.I.K.I.” was never developed. Digital slop abounds.
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@interdimensionalmeme@lemmy.ml - The Earth never collided with the Sun at nearly the speed of light.
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@petrol_sniff_king@lemmy.blahaj.zone - Never lost ten years of memory. But does remember the bad dinner.
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@magnetosphere@fedia.io - Increased empathy never led to fascism.
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@SassyRamen@lemmy.world - A man named Donald John Trump was born.
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@sfxrlz@lemmy.dbzer0.com – You are no longer uncontrollably perennially happy.
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@AllToRuleThemOne@lemmy.world – Popcorn shrimp did not rain from the sky and collapse the ecosystem.
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@icelimit@lemmy.ml – Dual memories of past and future never harmed you. The memories are gone.
nooo give him back!!
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a couple hugs
Ah, Gandalf the Pink. Is that what happens if the Balrog gets you a second time?
boyfriend (human, my age, regular lifespan, attracted to me, and i’m attracted to him), and a billion dollars (in US currency, no strings attached, not any blood money)
Does lemmy have a dating community? If not we need one
People have tried to setup a federated alternative to Tinder/etc and other things, but population is still real low and we’re still kind of weird. The sparse demographic info we have is also more than a bit skewed, it’s rough.
we’re still kind of weird.
that’s the best part of it
![Everybody gets one [choose wisely]](https://lemmy.zip/pictrs/image/01571a61-e9d0-4876-b03c-6ae9c2061d0d.webp){kind=link}