Bet he’s a verbally-abusive, serial cheater who eventually just vanishes/ghosts them.

Oh my gravy! Delish.

It was enlightening. However, I assure you I’ll only remember that astronauts dig into their bootyholes to scoop their poops.

I don’t know if this is true, but I’m certainly going to repeat it as fact.

Waking up on snow days vs. school days.

There is no water catastrophe. Water has always been on the planet, totally natural, no need for alarm.

How are astronauts not just constantly shitting themselves in fear?

“Thanks for the introduction, dad. Turns out her fursona is a well-hung platypus, just like I always wanted!”

They can still be your prime years in terms of quantity of beaver ass eaten, if not in quality. But I think you sell yourself short. They’re gonna love you!

You’re probably right, but I can’t wait to see the egg on your face if it does turn out to contain glycomacropeptides, α-lactalbumin, β-lactoglobulin, serum albumin and immunoglobulins!

Prediction: we learn in a few years that this balls kid is a rare modern castrato.

What I have barely even counts as a penis.

Ladies? ;)

“I love sketching the curves of your body and you’re welcome to stay here for the evening, if you like.”

Nah, it’s a win, a woman actually willingly touched him.

I wonder if Miss Emely appreciated that. Hell, did anybody ask Noam before blasting his dirty laundry all over the internet?

I didn’t realize that was how it worked. I just demonstrated responsibility like an hour ago.

Idea for any leftist bakeries out there: charge military members even more, veterans even more still. Refuse to make them cake! Make a big deal about it. Enjoy your free national media attention. Send me a little cut.

“I wish I knew how to quit you, because you have destroyed my internal organs.”

Humpback, indeed!