My 20’s are mostly a blur because I was semi bedbound because of a heart + neurological condition so I don’t even remember much of what happened. If you ask me what I remember from my 20s most of it is just vague descriptions of hospital appointments. Mentally I’d say I’m at the age I was right before I got really sick, around 20. Despite all the stress my illness caused me everyone says I look 18 or 19. When I say my age people legitimately think I’m trying to prank them. If I put my photo on a dating website along with my age people are going to assume I’m doing a bad job at catfishing. I don’t know what to do. Do I get with a 35 year old guy (which would look weird in public) or date someone a little over my perceived age?
Obviously you find a 35 year old guy who looks to be 18 or 19. Then you can shock people together.
Or the reverse, find an 18/19 year old who looks 35!
You date who you are attracted to, who cares what other people think?
Date someone you feel comfortable with beyond appearances. Because that’s what relationships rely on.
Unless you plan on staying looking like you’re 18 until you die, or forever if you’re not planning to die, then yes just date hot guys under 25 only, indefinitely.
Date whoever you want.
fuck what other people tell you, follow your heart
Worry less about your age, their age and what people think. Focus more on what will make you happy. If you feel like dating someone in their early 20s is not predatory, then go for it. Remember, some 20 year olds will be less mature, too.
Yeah I feel attracted to men in their early to mid twenties, but given my age I’m worried it’ll come off as predatory. It doesn’t feel like there’s up to nearly a decade of difference.
if no one believes your real age then no one’s gonna think it’s predatory
Dating someone in their 20s as a 30 year old is not predatory unless you’re preying on them (taking advantage of them by welding power over them or using their inexperience against them). It does not sound like you will be preying on them. Right now, focus on finding someone you like, their exact age doesn’t matter like you think it does.
Most 20 year olds are less mature, not some. It’s predatory.
OP specified that, due to mental haze in their 20s related to their health issues, they mentally feel closer to 20.
it’s not like 20 year olds are immature, come on
20 vs 30 is nothing, most people still struggle to accept that they’re adults at 30…
Most 20 year olds are less mature than a 30 yo. What I mean is that some 20 yo are less mature than a typical 20 yo. Some are more mature.
Op could be predatory, but it’s not predatory by virtue of age alone. there is also a big difference with, say, an 18yo. Or conversely a 23 yo. After 20, a 10 year gap is no big deal.
There are predatory relationships at all ages. From OPs description, this is not the relationship type they are looking for, as they themselves feel less mature. I’d say 25 to 18 is worse than 30 to 20. It’s not the age gap that matters but the maturity difference and power imbalance.
I’m a 40yo, and when I play guessing game with people, they say something like “you’re not older than 26”. I just think that I’m probably lucky with genetics , but that doesn’t really change what I do or who I meet with. And I’m emotionally like 21, so it works for me
Life’s too short to pick your partners based on other people’s aesthetic preferences. The whole, ‘is this guy too young for me thing’ is a more complicated choice IMO. Maybe you’re over thinking it. Have you been on any dates recently?
Why is it 20 or 35 if you are 30, and not, well, 30?
Date someone you like! Just go out with some guys and figure out what you like.
I will only say that you should probably not date an age, just a person. It’ snot their date of birth we may spend time (maybe eve our live) with , it’s who they are.
Since we’re on the Internet, I should probably make it clear that I mean dating a person of legal age.
edit: typos
And someone else who looks far younger than I am, just be glad for it.
Date a 30 yo that looks like they are in their 60s for true shock value.
The difference between 20 and 30 mentally is huge. They are babies. That said, if you look super young you will naturally attract some of the worst types of people…be wary.
no it fucking isn’t come on, only people who are very insecure about their age thinks shit like this
It has nothing to do with being secure oand insecure. Predators target young, naive individuals. It’s a known fact. Silence enables predation. Your defensiveness is weird.
i’m 25, i think you can figure out why i find it absurd to say that 20 year olds are “babies” and hugely different from 30 year olds.
It’s not absurd to say 20 year olds and 30 year olds are different in that way. From life experience to brain development, it’s a documented fact that older people predate these inexperienced individuals for a variety of reasons. Hence, if you look 20 and a 35 year old is interested in you, I advise you to be cautious. Now, some people will argue that once someone is legally an adult none of that matters. Sure, under the eyes of the law. But you’ve more than admitted here you’re looking for someone immature, that you are also immature. Be careful, older people giving you advice don’t do so to harm you or because they are ashamed they’ve aged. They have often been taken advantage of by older individuals.
