My 20’s are mostly a blur because I was semi bedbound because of a heart + neurological condition so I don’t even remember much of what happened. If you ask me what I remember from my 20s most of it is just vague descriptions of hospital appointments. Mentally I’d say I’m at the age I was right before I got really sick, around 20. Despite all the stress my illness caused me everyone says I look 18 or 19. When I say my age people legitimately think I’m trying to prank them. If I put my photo on a dating website along with my age people are going to assume I’m doing a bad job at catfishing. I don’t know what to do. Do I get with a 35 year old guy (which would look weird in public) or date someone a little over my perceived age?

  • Beesbeesbees@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    0
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    1 month ago

    The difference between 20 and 30 mentally is huge. They are babies. That said, if you look super young you will naturally attract some of the worst types of people…be wary.

      • Beesbeesbees@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        1
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        1 month ago

        It has nothing to do with being secure oand insecure. Predators target young, naive individuals. It’s a known fact. Silence enables predation. Your defensiveness is weird.

        • Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          1
          ·
          1 month ago

          i’m 25, i think you can figure out why i find it absurd to say that 20 year olds are “babies” and hugely different from 30 year olds.

          • Beesbeesbees@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            1
            arrow-down
            1
            ·
            1 month ago

            It’s not absurd to say 20 year olds and 30 year olds are different in that way. From life experience to brain development, it’s a documented fact that older people predate these inexperienced individuals for a variety of reasons. Hence, if you look 20 and a 35 year old is interested in you, I advise you to be cautious. Now, some people will argue that once someone is legally an adult none of that matters. Sure, under the eyes of the law. But you’ve more than admitted here you’re looking for someone immature, that you are also immature. Be careful, older people giving you advice don’t do so to harm you or because they are ashamed they’ve aged. They have often been taken advantage of by older individuals.