The best purchase I’ve made this year has to be the tickets for the “Barbie” movie on opening day July 21st. As I watched the movie in theater (the best way to watch a movie), I was literally moved to tears by the performance of the lead actress, whom I might add, deserves an Oscar this year.

Fellow lemmings, I, for one, will definitely be buying “Barbie” on Blu-ray to have it in my collection.

Multiple copies, in fact.

Probably condoms.

Off the top of my head no particular order:

• Proper mop bucket like heavy duty on wheels. Mopping takes minutes now, nothing has worn out in years, very little waste.
• Proper broom, not plastic. Got tired of all the waste from plastic ones wearing out so quickly. I got one of these and it is an amazing buy it for life kind of thing.
• Bidet
• An IDGAF pocket knife. All those times when I was young and just needed a vaguely knife-shaped piece of metal but dad was like “don’t hammer that knife into that rock you’ll damage the blade” or “don’t hammer that knife into the can of beans” or “don’t hammer that knife into the deer skull you found” well now IDGAF. Sturdy, cheap, doesn’t matter it it holds an edge or stays clean.
• A Dremel. I don’t have a lot of space and this thing is great for cutting random things I don’t have real tools for.
• Respirator and impact goggles. Originally bought for going to protests but I’ve found they’re just fantastic around the house. Don’t want to breath in murder chemical while cleaning an oven? Or microplastics from sawing your latest art project in half? What about “This Dremel blade might explode if I use it like this and I don’t want to lose my eyes”?
• Yak tracks, they work. I’m getting too old to fall on ice and walk it off.
• The right shoes for the job. Walking shoes, climbing shoes, hiking boots, brown leather heels for construction work, eight inch black leather stilletos for getting attention, blue suede boots for getting attention, six inch pink platform boots for getting attention, blue gogo boots for getting attention. They’re all crucial to my day to day.
• Cats. They keep the sad away, works great.
• Jars everywhere. You can store spices, leftovers, paperclips, q tips, an array of rocks for making minis, paints, pepper ferments. They are so versatile and easy to clean I have maybe 150 or so of them currently.
• Air fryer. Didn’t think I’d like it but I’m a convert now they’re great.
• A growing collection of glues. I don’t know why but the ability to properly fuse shit together unlocks so many possibilities. This is a new discovery for me.
• A growing collection of solvents. Like the reverse of glue the ability to clean things in specific ways is great.
• Metal wire shelves. They’re versatile, sturdy, relatively cheap, easy to break down and transport if you’ve been averaging a move a year for ten years.
• A small sewing kit. Great for small repairs. I’ve added years to some of my dresses by catching weak points early and doing 10 minute fixes.
• Proper electric toothbrush. Even the fanciest ones are cheaper than dental work.
• Lastly, a bin of compost in your living room because you live in a city and don’t have much access to dirt. Feed it very slowly so it doesn’t rot. Keep roly polies in there, they’re cute, and springtails to prevent mold, they’re also cute. When you feel sad about living in a cement and steel environment just crack that thing open and pretend you’re looking at a forest floor. Dig around a little see how the worms are doing. Bother your nesting partner by grabbing fistfuls of it and loudly exclaiming “dirt smells great today really earthy!”

Edit to add, how could I forget this? I just got home and in my entryway there is an 18 unit locker like the kind you would find during a Bed Bath going out of business sale and they’re getting rid of everything including the employee lockers in back, you know the ones. I’m poly so each of my partners and my nesting partner’s partners get to pick their own locker to keep overnight supplies in. There are unclaimed lockers for guests to store small things, and some that are effectively house mandatory junk drawers. Also serves as a lost and found when like partners leave phone chargers or whatever else behind. Great purchase.

Proper chef’s knife and vegetable cleaver. Most of my military surplus clothes. A vaccuum sealer. Second hand books. My Traynor YBA-1. Some good boots. There’s definitely stuff i forgot, i don’t really buy items anymore.

Union dues and used books.

My dog. Easily the most value I’ve ever got for my money, no comparison.

Doom (1993). I bought it once and now all I need is the iWAD and I’ve got unlimited maps, mods, ports, and total conversions, to play forever and ever

Good knives. Well worth it.

A bidet. $30, attaches under your toilet seat. Life changing.

Decent quality automatic cat feeders.

We have 3 cats, and I resisted getting autofeeders for 5 years because it felt silly to buy what amounts to three $75 food bowls.

They paid for themselves the first weekend I didn’t have 3 razor sharp dickheads screaming at me to feed them at 5:15 AM. I should have bought them years ago.

Vasectomy. Before I got my vasectomy, I had a lot of anxiety that the condom might fail and an unwanted pregnancy would occur. That’s not to say vasectomies can’t fail, they can, even years afterwards, recanalization can happen so I get tested every year.

Annual failure rate of condom (average use) is 18%, and with perfect use it’s 2%. This means that over a span of 20 years, even with perfect use, there is a 33% chance for a pregnancy which is too high for me. A vasectomy with annual testing of sperm count is as close to zero as possible.

my futon mattress. custom made to my specific requirements. worked well for the last 20 years.