PaulSmackage [he/him, comrade/them]

It’ll give you a healthy glow, i can tell you that much.

I don’t believe you

I just like asking them what rocks are flavoured what

Chest freezer, vacuum sealer, wired electric impact wrench.

They didn’t specify which maple flavour they added

Where did Epstein die?

Fill it with this

The “her” in question:

Same, but it’s a Goofy impression.

My wife saw a charcuterie board and under her breath said “charcussy”. I have been repeating that basically every day to her since.

Your website will rot on the vine.

Destroy keyless ignition, return to dangly keys.

And depending on what kind of update this is, it’s a 15 minute reprogram.

That note at the beginning lmao.

“NONONO, WE DON’T ACTUALLY MEAN THE THINGS WE PUBLISHED, THAT’S RUSSIAN DISINFORMATION”

And a hotdog is a type of sandwich.

It’s even easier than that

They also invented the landmine, which you should go and frolick in a field of them.

The toothbrush, which you should use more often.