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Deafening applause.
(grabs khaki jacket, slacks, and pith helmet)
OK chaps, here’s the job…
(stares out at a room of 11 different English stereotypes)
It’s just the montey python troop in silly wigs.
Since you aren’t taking questions, I’ll pose one to the forum: Do we think Pierce Brosnan would come out of retirement for this and, if not, whom shall we recruit for this effort?
Do the polite thing and ask the Americans if Nicholas Cage would be available to steal some national treasures.
He will do anything if they allow him to be weird while doing it.
And also help fund his crippling spending money on stupid shit problem.
So long as Nic Cage is never forcibly enrolled into a highly intensive financial literacy course, he will remain a pliable asset.
He also has previous experience impersonating Viktor Bout, which is likely a relevant qualification, probably, maybe.
Isn’t he already weird just by existing?
Well yes, but he keeps petitioning Congress for a specific constitutional exemption…
Ok, this sounds like a job for Indiana Jones personally
Sadly he was killed by a lightsaber in Star Wars VII
Well shit, who else we got, what’s Lara Croft doing?
Adopting half of the impoverished kids in Rwanda, most likely
Well god damnit what about that Nathan kid from that video game?
Working on her new TV series
Genuinely thought you were making a joke about Samuel L Jackson playing Indy. It’s about that many films in before he dies, right?
He’s Irish you scut
I propose we enlist Michael Ironsides to neutralize Steven Seagal.
I’m still giggling at ‘rivers of bloods’
Just a stream of dudes doing complicated gang sign gestures
To be fair, losing Donskoys bones can hardly be blamed on the Russians considering the behemoth vatnik ossuary the Donbass has become.
The wild dogs are developing Korsakoff syndrome from eating dead Igors
Tbf, Russia had a sound initial plan there, the pile of medieval remains was one of the top soldiers Russia had to send to the conflict.
Not a single mention of tebuchets? Is this not the NCD community??
That’s how they exfiltrate the relics.
British archeologists arrive
“Righty ho, Chaps! We brought plenty of dynamite.”
were they planning to resurrect him with a necromancer.
