Nah. Cats are the supreme court.

They judge you based on some secret undescribed rules they care not to share with the public, stare down at you from their pulpit, and generally answer to no-one

I feel kinda same. I’m still questioning but I’ve begun to realize that being a man is not something I really every leaned into in my life, it was just like. A label applied and I did nothing to support or deny it. It was a thing just vaguely attached to myself. Dressing myself was always practical first with no care to color or coordination (jeans, belt, and long sleeve cotton shirts is about the only thing I’ve ever worn for my entire life, farm work necessitates it) and I have like, 3 dress shirts and a single pair of black slacks total for “fancy” events.

But I went and bought a skirt and some thigh highs on a whim last month from Amazon and upon putting them on, almost immediately I find myself thinking about color coordination, accessories, ways to combine different things that accentuate my hips, and WHOOF. Suddenly I am left wondering if my not caring about gender appearance was just bottling my feelings lol.

I didn’t mind topping, I didn’t mind being the one that leads during sex, or takes on more aggressive/dominant, masculinized roles, but never once did I feel fulfilled by that.

Oh jesus, this suddenly resonated fuck. I don’t mind taking the masculine role either, thinking back to current and past partners I really enjoyed traditional sex when it was fresh, but I realize once the autism novelty seeking wears off I’m not really feeling like I’m getting fulfillment out of it. Gah.

Thank you girl you are so validating <33

Are you on hrt by any chance? Ive been reading a lot and ig breast sensitivity is one of the first things to come with higher E levels.

Very similar, I’ve like, basically never liked my nipples played with but my gf really loves hers being played with. I thought it was a autism sensory thing with me but I wonder if it was my brain blocking it out.

I might try some of that on myself…

I didn’t mean to drag any unintentional transphobia in here, I’m sorry… Bit it’s kind of unavoidable, when trying to hash out my questioning feelings of femininity when I’m still outwardly presenting as a man.

I don’t know what the better way to describe the differences is? Like majority of trans girls don’t get bottom surgery iirc so theyre still gonna have a penis and slight biological differences in arousal, yes they’re just as much of a woman as any other but those exact differences of cis man vs trans woman is what my brain is trying to wrap itself around and understand right now.

Either way I’ve been very grateful to the comments people have left its been helping me look at myself a little more subjectively and in depth even if I’m still not admitting anything to myself lol

I’ve found that exporting to PDF sometimes has inconsistent results vs passing it thru the systems print dialog. Like sometimes fonts fail to render or locations/margins get messed up when “exported” since that’s the softwares built in interpreter.

I’m almost wondering if fluid is the label that applies because I find myself wildly oscillating between the two in my mind. But I think part of it is not being fully ok or convinced of being partially or wholly fem yet.

Yeah, I have dedicated time off coming up for the Christmas season and I’m a little worried about what revelations I might discover during that now… Haha

Since Rs still hold the Texas Senate, I don’t know how many laws can truely be repealed since they’re gonna stonewall everything- but with their exec branch and House turned over the damage can be limited, and the exec branch can simply choose to stop enforcing some of those laws.

More importantly this is momentum. If they can unfuck a lot of Texas’ corruption and voter suppression it will only turn MORE blue as time goes on, and it could be a full flip by 2028.

Thats the t blocker right?

Join us you are not alone >>> !mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone

Hell yeah miisha, you got this. Seems like your doctor is really on top of things and ACTUSLLY LISTENS, that’s worth its weight in gold.

be well continuing your journey into girlhood!!

it’s tempting ngl. what other people here have told me about how even just single doses of hrt can change your brain feel (when you’re wired for E but don’t have it seems to lead to brain fog n shit) makes me curious to try it.

thanks that means a lot :)

yeah i was gonna try and discuss it this weekend but she lives a 2.5hr drive away and this weekend turned into a blur of other stuff with the whole move out. i’m definitely going to bring it up to her after the moving shit is done tho

Its for the best. Their company has been stuck without innovation on extremely outdated powertrain platforms since the early 2000s.

Based and epilled

you live in a country with a functional social support system thank god, that could have been significantly worse

But like. That is EMT’s job, to check on and take care of people. I’ve known a couple of them and I guarantee they did not find you annoying or a waste of their time. if anything, it was probably the best call theyve gotten all month. 90% of the time they’re responding to the worst day in anyone’s life, or the last day. They deal with true psychriactric breaks, violent patients throwing bodily fluids at them, car accidents, or having not made it there in time. All sorts of mind bending things.

For them to get a call from someone who CARES ABOUT YOU enough to want to make sure you’re ok, then they find you alive and well (albeit down in the dumps), and ultimately have support to stay that way- that’s why they do it. Literally. You are the reason they chose to be an EMT in the first place.

I dont have any better answers than what other people already shared here but you’re not alone girl <3

you are not useless and you are not a burden, you deserve to exist no matter what form that existence is. Because at the end of the day we’re all just meat sacks on some fuck ass backwater floating rock, trying to project some meaning onto the leftover corpse of a star. So go take care of your bf, get some good love and affection, and take a cuddle nap. It’ll be alright.

classic portland

I hope one day to be brave enough to do some level of social transition…

I wish you great luck finding a cute skirt you like <3