So, I’m in a long-term relationship with my loving partner, and everything is good, except for the matters of sex. Suffice it to say, one partner (male) has a very overwhelming sexual drive, while the other (female) needs sex like once a month (and it has always been so throughout life). Partners are monogamous and do not explore options of having a third party.
Can any good advice be derived for such cases? Is there something that can be done to improve things on each side? I would love to hear your advice.
In the same boat, from your word choice “very overwhelming” it would appear you are the female. I’m sorry you feel stressed by his want to appreciate you. People have different love languages and his is more physical. My Wife also is okay with a monthly shag. I’ve openly shared about wanting more snd am open to alternative options to make both parties happy, however, my wife is reluctant and hesitant to explore anything beyond ‘vanilla’ sex. I hope this thread actually gets some attention, cause I need answers too. Im open to share more if people want to know.
Well I had the same problem with my ex (9 years relationship). We patched it the last years by allowing to seek sex out ot the couple. Worked ok for me for that time with a lot of fap. Sex felt like “my thing”, like it was a hobby I had on my own To your problems there might be answers too but I’d advise to seek for the help of a sex therapist and do a couple session to talk over how to bring the fire between the lovers. Most of people change with time, have less thrive in sex because life and the body just put them there. They’re focused on loan, children, everyday’s life or just the loving component in the couple
Today I couldn’t imagine involve in a romantic relation without the kinky/horny side. I’m very open about it coz I believe it’s one of my needs. The last guy I dated, I was very upfront on the subject. After I noticed he was flirting I asked straightforwardly "Man. You’re cute and all but before I can consider even seeing you romantically… How do you feel about sex? "
I appreciate you sharing! Unfortunately I did have this conversation before marriage and she was receptive even more open to another woman, however, she’s since backed off in interest for unknown reasons. So I more or less feel like the “rug has been pulled from under me” like she said that go lock my down and never intended to actually pursue.
Sad. Maybe it’s time to ask what changed? “I had the feeling I knew you on this topic but how do you feel about it today?” could be a relevant question, with mutual respect ofc. You don’t want her to be pressured, neither feel put aside
Actually, I am the male partner, but it’s a kind consideration in your part :)
I’m just trying to look at it from neutral grounds, and understand that as much as her drive is very slow to me, it is equally overwhelming to her, and we shared our concerns on the matter.