I made up a game called Deep Spy Penetration to play whenever I’m drunk and bored indoors. The goal is to get into as many areas of the building as possible without getting told to leave.

Rules:

1. Don’t be an asshole. Don’t steal stuff, break anything or move barricades.
2. Don’t lie to get access. Asking is allowed.
3. Opening doors with easily missed “no entry” signs is allowed, anything the average person might not see. Don’t open doors with blatant warnings.
4. If you get caught you lose.
5. If you set off an alarm you mega-lose.

Drink more, dance on the 2nd player pad with more freedom than he can since my side doesn’t work. Insist that I won. Say, “it’s ok, the bar isn’t the only thing you’ll be humping* tonight” with a wink, in an effort to go home because idk what else to do in this barcade.

*I call the folks that play DDR while holding onto the rail bar humpers. Idk if this is common.

Watch. Nerds playing DDR in front of people is basically their mating dance.

Mad dog Mcree all the way!

Otherwise:

Silent scope

Didn’t notice, I’ve been drinking and playing skee ball for 6 hours

Being that I’m the husband who has drunkenly tried the dancing games, I would say my wife is finding the Rockband exhibit. So we don’t really go to arcades. We do sometimes stumble into the game room at conventions. And someone always has a modded Xbox 360 and Rockband 3 set up with all the anime songs on it. And you can generally just step up and play. When a lot of people want to play, there’s a queue and a system for doing it, but most times we go, you kinda just glance toward the person singing or drumming or whatever you want to do, and they pass off to you when they’re done with that song, or ask if it’s cool if they do one more, maybe that’s their pick they waited for or something. Anyway, I suck at arcade games, so I’m grabbing the Rockband mic. No one wants to sing in public, especially if it’s in Japanese and we don’t know it. The lyrics are described in romaji (e.g. “arigatou gozaimasu” for ありがとうございました which is to say “thank you very much” and is pronounced something like “ah-dee-gah-tow go-z-eye-moss”). As someone who can pronounce maybe 10-20% of romaji correctly and can kinda wing the rest… it’s fun. Plus we turn the mics down and the vocal track up, so if you mess up, you don’t ruin the song for the onlookers (you can do the opposite and only hear the vocalist, for example).

Claw machines.

Play one of the other rhythm games. Preferably Wacca or Chunithm.

Fighters. Street Fighter 2 Turbo? Ultimate Mortal Kombat 3?

Given that our positions should absolutely be reversed here, I would either:

A) Continue the ‘today is opposite day’ trend and go find a booth with a retro side scrolling beat em up in it. Preferably TMNT OR B) Go find a non-dancing rhythm game (I absolutely can crush the piano game), or something with an element of RNG to it (casino lite!)

If they got other rhythm games, definitely that. Rhythm games and racing games are just about the only arcade games I truly enjoy ( claw machines not included because I consider things like that separate entities ).

Chunithm and project diva future tone arcade

I don’t do anything.

Anything at all! I would have to think so hard how in the world could it happen that I suddenly have a husband.

They got pinball? I’ll play some pinball.