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Cake day: July 1st, 2023

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  • PhobosAnomaly@feddit.uktoLemmy Shitpost@lemmy.worldTHIS is true wisdom
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    3 days ago

    I used to share an office with a contractor in the UK.

    Their sickie policy was that you didn’t get paid at all for the first four days of sickness, but for periods of five days or longer you got paid the statutory sick pay rate for the entirety of the sick period.

    It was to disincentivise the “one day wonder” sickies after a night on the piss or when you couldn’t be arsed going to work - but predictably, all it did was guarantee that people would be off for at least five days so they got something out of it.

    Absolutely backwards.






  • Large coffees in a coffee shop are about the same price as a pint these days so you might as well.

    Unless you’ve got the motor of course, then don’t be a dafty.

    Maybe I’m just showing my age but I felt a bit of a gut punch when I asked for two large coffees at the till, and a tenner wasn’t enough to cover them. Fuck me.






  • A friend of mine got a phone call at daft o’clock one evening from his son who hadn’t turned up home.

    “Dad, can you pick me up from the city centre please?”

    Bear in mind that he lived in a smaller town 40 miles or so from the city; on a bus route that spanned two cities about 90 miles apart.

    Turns out that he had been taught how to board a bus; ask for a ticket; pay; and take a seat… but never learned how to leave a bus.

    His dad was understandably pissed off, having been kicked out of bed at midnight to do a near two-hour round trip drive to pick his lad up. He asking him why he hadn’t pushed the bell to signal the driver to stop.

    “I thought they were just emergency stop buttons, and because I told the driver where I was going when I got the ticket, I thought he would stop for me… and when he didn’t, I just sat and waited until the end of the line”.

    Poor soul.








  • Unpopular opinion: burgers without cheese are fuckin’ awesome.

    Specifically the McDonalds rubbery type cheese. Big Macs, Arch Burgers, whatever - all much tastier without the cheese.

    Hell, even asking for a “triple cheeseburger with no cheese” sounds like it defeats the point but awwww yeeeaaahhh it’s just a triple decker beef sandwich.

    If you like cheese then crack on, go wild. But it’s worth trying something without cheese for a different experience.