Illuminati confirmed

Back when computer monitors were big enough, my cat would sit on that and I would have to keep moving his tail out of the way

Powerthirst is also crystal meth

One time I smoked just a little to see how it would feel. I tripped the fuck out for like 5 seconds.

This guy’s taking Kamin off the grid!

Hold my internal organs, I’m going in

has been eliminated

Lol I think it basically is, it just isn’t literal shit

It’s Huttese for fodder

Pudu is for banthas!

Pour it on yourself and you’ll never have to work another day in your life

Happy Threshold Day!

Glory to you… ^AND ^YOUR ^PASSWORD…

“ingenuity is kill”
“no”

And I will see my dream come alive at last

Yeah I’m taking another break, but I’m not going to enjoy it

I saw George W. Bush at a grocery store in Kennebunkport yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.

He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”

I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.

The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.

When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

It helps to always have a podcast in the background as a secondary source of stimulation

“Why” is straight up noise rock a full decade before noise rock became a thing and it’s awesome. I’m not taking any questions.

Avoiding fertility tests is a crime