Absolutely fine to politely ask for a salary range, in my experience. I’ve never found they hide it, but the ranges can be broad.

Blaming young adults and families is unfair. Many institutions need to be held to account for advertising outcomes which don’t materialise for their students.

However long it would take me to find a tank of nitrogen to strap to my face for happy sleep time.

My post apocalypse strategy - and the only way to avoid prolonged suffering - is suicide on day 1.

Turns out that’s not a good dinner party answer.

Unfortunately it seems there are no consequences for the universities, and it’s not hard to make those qualifications seem both alluring and lucrative.

There’s got to be a way to hold them to account for the countless graduates who don’t end up finding industry positions.

I’m probably in an echo chamber. I hope that 2nd application goes well for you.

In my experience, good candidates (including interns/juniors) are still landing the roles. Hiring in tech/design/product is tough because there’s a deluge of applicants who’ve either coasted during the boom, or been sold a lie by an educational institution.

You can spot the ones who apply for 40 jobs a week, and those who’ve used chatGPT a mile off, and they’re usually the worst candidates, with long, bland, unfocused resumes.

LinkedIn is full of my worst ex-colleagues bemoaning the lack of opportunities, like they’re entitled to it.

Please tell me if I’m being unfair. Maybe I should be less cynical.

A shameful culprit IMO was the Kermode and Mayo film review. Two wealthy broadcasters (one extremely wealthy) who left the BBC, created an objectively worse show, half of which immediately went behind a paywall. Then they started voicing atrocious adverts and wingeing that people should pay so they could keep the lights on.

They could easily have experimented with a Patreon, but the arrogance was clear.

The only upside was that I felt no pain in dropping them like a stone, but I do miss the old show and never found a good replacement.

I know what you mean, but it would depend on my current situation. Assuming I’ve had to find another job with short notice (and I’m still in my probation period) it could be a great opportunity to leverage a massive pay increase, then spend the next year planning a proper move.

I wouldn’t list it as separate employment on my CV, unless I knew it was going to be scrutinised, in which case, it’s easily explained and reflects pretty well - they wanted me back.

I used to meet a lot of these people in the office. They’d resign themselves to their situations and blame everyone else.

When I come across it now, I’ll listen and then ask what could make it better. 50% of the time it’s “does not compute” + excuses.

Choose to watch 2hrs Netflix every night or settle for a crappy job or relationship? Go for it, I’m not judging you. Bitch that it’s your only option? Nope.

I used to think that’s all I had the energy to do. Turns out reading a couple chapters, learning a bit of guitar, going on a short walk, journalling… all takes minimal mental and physical energy, but feels 10x better to do. I got stuck in shitty habits and convinced myself that’s all I could do.

Coddling has the negative connotation - to consistently overprotect. Occasional spoiling is an entirely different and good thing.

You missed my point. I’m ignoring nothing, I’m suggesting OP seek out men who will be supportive, because they’re not hard to find.

I’m certain I could find studies as proof, but don’t we all already know this to be true?

Plenty of men can deal with this, and plenty of women can’t. It’s not helpful to see this as a gender thing, you’ll only feel more alienated. You might want to seek out some new social connections?

I’ve been though divorce recently and despite being very amicable, it’s caused me to reset - some things broke, but being more emotionally open has been one of the good things. I’m still pretty reserved but a few things are different:

• I care a lot less about conforming to “ideals” or how anyone judges me. That means I no longer feel the fear and second guess everything I say.
• When appropriate, I ask people - especially other men - how they’re doing and gently push for a genuine answer. No one’s reacted negatively to that, so far.
• With my kids, I simply do the opposite to my father. I tell them I love them, I take an interest in them, and I take their feelings seriously. I don’t coddle them, but I want them to feel secure and confident in talking to me. They’re still young, so we’ll see.
• During work 1:1s, I take a genuine interest in people, most will subtly drop hints that they had a bad weekend or are feeling tired or stressed. I used to gloss over that, now I’ll ask about it and say I’m happy to listen. A surprising number will go on to share, with the bonus that it builds trust.
• If someone asks how I am, I won’t lay it all out for them, but I’ll be honest. Most people empathise and tell you they’ve been through similar. It’s never been awkward, and I’ve found out nearly everyone I know is pretty anxious and is going through difficult stuff.

As an aside, I never watched much porn because I found it so cold and alienating. It’s interesting that you found the opposite. Anyway, I’ll stop there and wish you well!

That’s a very good idea. Hopefully I’ll never need it, but great advice.

Haha, yeah you might be onto something there. It felt like a way to pull the rug from under people to see how they cope, which wasn’t nice. I try to put people at ease in interviews, rather than try to catch them out.

I was ambushed with a “so, what do you do for fun?” once and the sudden context switch made me pause for so long that I must’ve seemed like I had no life outside of work 😬

Fair enough, I’ve been in those situations, that can be tough

The only possible use I could imagine, was to test how people respond to irrelevant stupid questions, since that happens a lot in some workplaces. Do they get frustrated and make it awkward, or shrug it off politely.

In my industry, practical interviews are very common, but they’re not always reliable. I can get as much from asking someone about their process and being talked through a case study they’ve chosen, as giving them a practical exercise to perform on the spot. I’d usually do both.

I’m not disagreeing with the overall inefficiency and frustration of the whole process, I’ve felt it on both sides. It’s messy - bad or overstretched HR teams, slow managers, unclear budgets, poor choice of tech platforms…