Coke is an unusual name but that’s his parents’ fault. Did they meet on a mission?

He’s looking at you and trying to figure out why you sit all weird like that.

This fucking guy presidents like he’s mis-clicking the Civ 5 UI in somebody else’s game looking for the nukes.

It’s a convenient place to rest the goalposts until they have to snatch them up and run away again.

_{Shhh! Not so loud!}
Uh, Casper who? I don’t know any Jasper or whatever you said.
^{You’re gonna blow my cover!}

After last week’s poodle-doping scandal and a Rottweiler disqualified for using non-standard toaster pastries, this good dog might just retrieve the gold in the Pup Tart Stacking category. Impressive showing at the very least.

The factory hasn’t produced enough to finish the measurement yet.

The archives are clearly just biased. Reliance on verifiable facts tethers you to the nanny state which is a liberal conspiracy to try to make you learn stuff and know things.

Everything I need to think gets human-centipeded to me from the Kremlin (with Fox as an eagerly-gobbling middleman) like white American blue-eyed Jesus intended.

I’ll let you know when I figure out how to get to the title screen.

The best games shuffle your controller inputs at random on startup to promote mental flexibility and problem solving skills.

Could be entertaining if somebody accidentally flips the “allow slop machine to make up fake products” switch from off to on.

Doesn’t look anything like him.

Somebody realized they get a spike in traffic whenever there’s a shooting or something along those lines. Fresh blood keeps the ad revenue flowing.

Forgot to mention your promo code.

Might just be some Trump-pandering to stay on his good side for when China decides that the Philippines is basically just more China if you think about it.

Rules? Applied to him? But don’t you know he’s special, what with all the money and all?

So they’re adding “in honor” to a description of his career? What does that even accomplish?

Maybe the real Kirk killer was the friends we made along the way.

Not if you’re only sending those definitely reliable photo matches straight to law enforcement via the tip line. The downside is there’s a risk that it’ll needlessly tie up precious investigative resources which would just be awful.