I expected this article to be from a few years ago given the current context but nope, it’s from today

My pet snake self cleans by taking frequent baths. It’s adorable

My line is at wet specimens.

I don’t even mind handling dead mice for my snake to eat, and I have a few small taxidermies around. I’ve even handled human teeth and had one of my own that had to get pulled (tooth fairy stole it though)

But wet specimens creep me TF out, especially if they’ve been diaphonized. I hate to say it but I’ve even seen wet human specimens (stillborns), that is a HELL FUCKING NO from me

They REALLY don’t want any tech support

Good news for the company, the ADA probably won’t be around much longer

Bad news for literally anybody else

Speed bumps are underutilized. I believe there’s a more modern design that doesn’t slow down emergency vehicles too

I used to drink more during my college years. That and right after was the hardest part of my life, aside from now, but I don’t drink as much now.

Joints though, nothing beats the convenience of a nice joint. Good edibles are hard to find, drinks are nice but pricy and rarely less than 10MG, and my herbal vape (not a typical vape) is nice but feels weak. I need to break off of them. I also enjoy rolling them, it’s therapeutic.

I’m allergic to cigarette smoke and hate tobacco, thankfully

Here’s my prediction of what will happen

1. This will slowly (or rapidly) make its waves through the papers until it’s being brought up and sensationalized by Instagram and TikTok influencers. Some girl will go viral talking about it overlayed over a shitty screenshot of the article.
2. The comments will be full of people continuing to shout about Epstein and Gaza in the comments (not that I necessarily disagree), mixed in with right wing bots calling it a lunch menu (private accounts with thousands of followers, generic pictures, and Jesus captions)
3. Trump will boast about how we have THE BESTEST national security
4. The federal government will devote all their energy into finding out who this guest is, down to subpoenas and/or extortion, assuming the hotel doesn’t immediately capitulate
5. By this point half the population will have forgotten about it, but Trump won’t be happy until everyone is silent. He will do something big to distract from this + the Epstein files, like sending the military into Mexico
6. Rinse and repeat

You’re not giving more choice if it relies on you purposefully taking away things. That’s called being predatory.

The violent criminals are the ones doing the detaining, Trump’s dementia just made him do an oopsie

And his version of ending it is making Ukraine surrender

Billionaires learned how to use the world wide web as an AI powered disinformation network

The motors that lower and raise it stop working

They’re unreliable and break constantly. At least, I’ve had to call in support for my Uplift desk twice now, and my desk at work has also stopped working. I don’t know why they’re so shitty.

That’s colonialism. You’re just describing colonialism.

Don’t do South Susan dirty like that man

Depends on the context surrounding the art and whether enjoying said art is directly funding the artist’s problematic views. Someone enjoying a Lovecraft story isn’t doing shit for him. No one’s views on race are going to change from stumbling upon his cat’s name either. Whereas someone buying a Harry Potter product is directly funding trans people’s deaths. However, buying a Harry Potter book secondhand is supporting local business (though I will still judge you for shitty taste and for promoting the franchise)

Context matters a lot.

Nor a trans person

Nazi rights are not human rights. The US will never understand.

Nazis tend to get their feelings hurt when you treat them the same way they treat others