Um ok, first of all, the sexual fantasies, kinks, fetishes, attractions – that’s not gender. That has nothing to do with your gender.

“Sissy hypno” isn’t going to turn you into a girl, or teach you how to “think like a girl”. I don’t have a problem with it, in fact it can be fun sometimes, but it’s not really my thing.

Your gender is something you were born with, whether you acknowledge it, whether you even know it. It’s inside you, it’s who you are. As you seem confused about this, you are what I would call “questioning” or exploring your gender identity but haven’t come to a solid conclusion yet.

Gender is more complex than boy vs girl. A person can also be nonbinary gender: either a blend of boy and girl, or neither. If you are a boy, it doesn’t matter what you do or think, you will always be a boy. If you are a girl, it’s the same. Once that clicks into place, you will understand.

Gender is also different than having masculine or feminine traits or personality. Women can be masculine, and men can be feminine, it happens sometimes. But their genders don’t change.

Sexuality is similar, your orientation is something you’re born with. And it is far more complex than gay or straight. You could be bisexual, asexual, demisexual – there are many possibilities.

Porn isn’t reality, so until you are really with someone, you won’t know what you like. Trust me, it’s so different being with a real person. Sometimes you imagine you will feel one way, but in the moment it’s completely different.

I was a virgin and unkissed until age 32, so I kinda understand where you are. I think you may be struggling with guilt or shame over your gender and/or sexuality, which is confusing the situation. Remember it’s not about what others think, not family or friends or religion, you are who you are. If you are a straight man, that’s valid. If you are a gay man, or straight girl, or bisexual enby, that is also valid!

Don’t worry about who you are supposed to be. You wanna know what it’s like to dress like a girl, wear makeup, have a female name, use she/her pronouns? Try it! You might hate it, or you might like it. At some point you need to get out of your head, and discover who you really are :)

Sounds like you have a lot to celebrate actually.

You’ve mentioned your accomplishments, they’re something to be proud of.

But one of the hardest things in life to learn and accept is that we each have to be enough for ourselves, regardless of what anyone else thinks, says or does. I also struggle with this, but I’ve seen the truth of it.

Even if the whole world was against you (but we’re not). The instant you base your worth on the opinions of others, you are setting yourself up to fail. Sometimes they’ll love you, sometimes they’ll hate you, mostly they will be indifferent. Is that where you want to be?

That’s not to say you should go through life alone. You absolutely need a strong support network – like all persecuted minorities, we need allies. That sounds like the final missing piece for you. First take a moment to recognize and appreciate allies you might already have, don’t forget them in despair; and then work on expanding your network.

As for the toxic people in your life, don’t give them the pleasure of bringing you down. Rise above and eclipse them, you got this <3

Star Trek

American Horror Story

Although I don’t usually skip intros unless I’m in a serious binge mood or short on time.

He can try being dictator of cell block A.

I don’t mind frameworks, but some features that seem super useful to devs, like google analytics, and various diagnostic/logging tools, social media integrations, I would prefer to “opt in” when I decide they are necessary.

I require https, but not every website is secure, and sometimes the certificate has a problem or is expired.

Tldr: I prefer to opt-in.

Technically it’s uBO, but I use the extreme setting that blocks all scripts by default. Truthfully I wasn’t aware just how many scripts get loaded especially on ecommerce and social media sites, there are too many heavy frameworks being used. Much of it is unnecessary bloat, slowing down my browser, and no small amount of it is devoted to tracking and data collection.

In general, I find less than half of loaded scripts are required to make a page functional. It’s a process requiring trial-and-error, but I have a good set of base rules in place for trusted sites and scripts.

For me, it’s about not giving websites free reign over my browser and by extension my computer and personal data, but having some measure of control over them.

And occasionally there are suspicious sites where I truly don’t want any scripts to run. I don’t even have to worry about them.

Ugh I hate the part about being presumed “a gay man”. That happened to me, probably starting in high school, and it is so cruel… not because of homosexuality, but the presumption of a male-oriented sexuality - attraction defined from a man’s perspective. I felt so lonely and so isolated for so many years (into my mid thirties in fact) because nobody actually checked whether their assumptions were accurate or not.

I love women, and sometimes men, but I can never love them as a man would, only from a woman’s perspective and that is fundamentally different. Thankfully, there are people like my partner out there who understand our plight, so I no longer worry about dying alone and entirely misunderstood <3

For me personally, it has varied a lot over time. I’ve been on HRT for three years. Last year, I reached a “stalled” point in my transition, where it felt like I wasn’t making any progress. But my goodness, six months later my boobs are bigger and rounder, I seem to be getting actual curves, and I have so many tasks I’m working on: voice therapy, surgery consultations, began learning makeup, electrolysis, just bought a bunch of outfits I like, and I’m going out in public as my true self - a woman!

I’m feeling euphoria every day now, whereas a year ago it was rare. I recommend not chasing euphoria, but enjoy it when it comes, and otherwise try to live in a comfortable and authentic way for yourself. Build as much of a support network as possible, because it’s hard to do this alone. From my partner to my doctors, therapists, friends and allies along the way, they have all helped me find the courage to do this, to fight the dysphoria and discover the euphoria :)

So I just started practicing makeup a few weeks ago. Honestly I found that eyeliner makes the most radical difference for me. It definitely helps me pass, and look even younger. For context I’ve been on HRT three years and getting electrolysis hair removal for a few months. Very happy with my body right now, but my face still makes me dysphoric.

That’s not to suggest eyeliner is the secret to passing, but rather how discovering and perfecting even one thing can make a huge difference. You don’t necessarily need to master everything. Like I tried foundation, blush, lipstick, eye shadow and liner for a ‘complete look’, and it’s a nice look, but I don’t really need most of that.

Every face is different, makeup will definitely level you up once you discover what works best. Having an AFAB friend to help you out is invaluable.

My advice is start subtle. Don’t think of it as covering up your face, or becoming someone else, but rather matching your skin/face’s natural qualities. Less is definitely more.

Internet in 2024 (for me):

1. Service unavailable in your country (VPN)
2. Confirm you’re a human (VPN)
3. Blank page (noscript)
4. Obscure error (fingerprint / cookie blocking)
5. Page not found (https required)

The percentage of websites that “just work” with privacy measures in place is depressingly small.

Reminds me of Oswald Mosley (leader of the British fascist party c. 1930s) saying that it didn’t matter if they won tomorrow or after a hundred years. Thankfully he was wrong about winning… but truly these fascist fuckers will always pop up somewhere.

We know it’s a bad idea, we know it’s a dangerous idea, we know it’s a deadly idea, and a complete failure in practice. Sign me up! /s

I think the difference is posting on lemmy isn’t quite the same as having an entire society’s fate in your hands.

I can ignore despicable politicians, but that doesn’t prevent them getting elected and targetting people like me.

Why is that even a question in 2024

Back in the days when unicorns were unicorns, and girls were girls.

And unicorns would probably do totally sick shit like carry off little girls and eat their livers.

Simpler times.

Hi, unicorn here. We do exist!

I think there is a difference.

Basically all animals will attack other animals when they invade their home space. Even insects do so and it can be brutal. Speaking outside of human moral constructs, you wouldn’t be out of line for killing a rat or even a cat that was unwelcome in your home. Life will do what it can to ensure survival.

But it’s easier to feel empathy for what is more similar to us. So, mammals, for example. Domesticated and tame animals that have adapted to humans.

I suggest making small efforts to cultivate compassion even for the creepiest insects, by taking a cup, bowl, or piece of paper and taking them outside. Now it could be argued whether this is doing them any favors, but I feel better about that compared to just smashing them.

It may sound ridiculous but yes I did reach the point where I am affected by any life I take, and really strive to avoid it where possible. I have “mutual arrangements” with a variety of insects in my house, such as small spiders. They stay out of my way, and I let them take care of other insects that slip through the cracks.

My thought was it’s very similar to a human, passing off complete bullshit as though it were fact, in a succinct and self-assured manner.

I’m starting to miss the days where a computer program would just respond with “Syntax error” or “No results found” instead of generating random garbage.

FACTS don’t care about your feelings! Study reveals Macos is 2 1/3 times better than Linux, massive 27% improvement over Windows!

Honestly. I think that’s what many of the nutjob protestors and “commentators” do. Why work a real job when you can be paid by suckers to jetset around the country/world spouting controversial views.