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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: October 1st, 2023

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  • I would like to apologize for the following opinions, because they come from a place of unresolved hypocrisy that is me.

    Non-profit my ass. No such thing in America or anywhere else in the world, if you have the perspective to hunt and the money to signify modern value.

    Survival of the fittest, and the newborn technology that is at its core a mirror of us, to the most complex level of modern mathematics (I’m of the firm belief that logic is discovered, not created).

    With those seemingly unrelated concepts made with vague words, I ask you this:

    What does it mean to feel? To know many different kinds of “one,” to live without fear but still be whole? I am sorry, again, I’m naught but gibberish and I’m just so glad you responded. I forgot and came back to find a word I sent, and now I find what I seek, an event in which I can say we’ve been bonded.

    But now try to, now that I splay out, all I’ve got and am about, all I can see, is that to you my head, seems to be on my knees.

    Again, sorry! Thank you for responding! I’m just glad to vent, and in expression have my soul rend into two, and sent into a new view.


  • I would just like to say, with open curiosity, that I think a nice solution would be for OpenAI to become a nonprofit with clear guidelines to follow.

    What does that make me? Other than an idiot.

    Of that at least, I’m self aware.

    I feel like we’re disregarding the significance of artificial intelligence’s existence in our future, because the only thing anybody that cares is trying to do is get back control to DO something about it. But news is becoming our feeding tube for the masses. They’ve masked that with the hate of all of us.

    Anyways, sorry, diatribe, happy new year


  • Here’s a poem I wrote last night:

    01:53

    I miss the point,

    a lot of the times,

    Because I think about,

    The consequences

    Repercussions,

    The echoes in my mind,

    They’re not helpful,

    They’re not relevant.

    I can never reach,

    That inner calm,

    That lets voice surface,

    Because it’s screaming to be heard.

    I can’t make conclusions,

    There’s too much doubt,

    And though I see now,

    Why

    I don’t know how, To stop running,

    It used be to away,

    And now it’s sprinting forwards.

    But there’s so much wrong,

    So much to figure out.

    Rushing hard doesn’t help,

    When I don’t know the route.

    I can’t avoid feelings,

    But with them, I’m always lost.

    I can’t seem to feel my feelings,

    When they’re always pushing,

    And I’m always reeling.

    Try all I can,

    Give all I’ve got,

    That’s the way,

    I brought me up.

    02:10


  • I highly recommend the book Introduction to Internal Family Systems by Richard Schwartz. It’s helped me a lot, and boils down to the idea that we have “parts,” and that our thoughts and feelings can sometimes be diametrically opposite.

    It, along with being able to speak with zero inhibitions to my therapist that makes me feel heard and my thoughts not seem batshit insane, has really brought up a lot of old memories and scared parts of myself. What I thought was anxiety, I’m learning to notice as a fear I’ve had for as long as I can remember, and that fear helped me survive a lot of my early years of trauma.

    https://ifs-institute.com

    I can guarantee that this book will give you a sense of the answer you’re asking for.