I’m definitely lonely, and also depressed over how life has gone for the past months. I don’t have much to celebrate. I don’t really think of him that fondly tbh. I do always remember the hurt that was caused, even more than the good stuff, but under there is just the feeling of comfort, belonging, and something close to love.

Anyone else experience getting over someone and then just randomly falling back into that heartbreak randomly months later? His voice echoes in my head, I’m desperately trying to remember what he looked like, I miss the jokes we had… I wish things would have gone differently. If I could have just held on, things could have sorted themselves out and I could be happy right now. Instead I’m just lonely.

You’re welcome! I hope you find a good balance again, and wish you luck on your project. :)

And thank you.

It can be difficult, but could you try and trust your friends a bit more? Kinda test the waters with being unavailable to them for some periods of time. Or maybe dedicate a bit more time for your friends? Personal projects can sometimes spiral out of control and you can become obsessed over them, I myself am working on a project as well, and sometimes I work on it unhealthy amounts. Think of what you want and need in life. Is it more time dedicated to work or school or projects? Or would you rather develop relationships and chill with friends? Or something completely different?

I don’t know you, and I’m also not a professional in this field (or any field tbh), so I don’t mean to come off like I know what is best for you or what you should do. I can only make assumptions based on your post and try to offer some advice. And it is of course up to you what you will do with your life. I would like to ask; do you think you might be sinking in too much time and effort into this project? It is completely valid if it’s something you want to do, but you might have to choose between the project and some (hopefully not all!) friends. Maybe you can find the right balance, so that you can keep both. Would it be possible to include your friends in this project? Even just something as small as asking their opinion on something? Or maybe find help from someone else so you wouldn’t have to work so much on it yourself.

The situation your friend is in sounds toxic. My parents were always super chill, and now I’ve been an adult for over a decade, so I’ve forgotten how the few rules I actually had felt like. I think the only advice to that I have is to just be firm, but understanding with her. Set clear boundaries, but also be there for her when you’re able to. You could be a friend that is, maybe a bit distant, but always there if shit really hits the fan.

In the end, do what makes you happy, but remember that social life is also important. We are social creatures, even the most introverted of us. I really wish I would have done things differently and been able to keep some friendships. I’m extremely lonely, even more so now that I had to stop working. I’m stuck in my house, too sick to move somedays, and I don’t have a lot of people to talk to. If I lived alone and were to collapse one day, it could take like a week for anyone to really miss me. It’s not the worst, there are people who don’t have anyone. Just whatever you do in life, don’t end up like me.

Sometimes I just feel too tired to talk to some of my friends, but I feel too bad saying it to them, so I just take my time replying. I try not to wait for too long, but as I’m now really struggling with a chronic illness, it might take days to get back some days. I’ve been honest about this with my friends tho, so they’ll know and are understanding.

We all need some time for ourselves, doesn’t matter if one has an illness, something going on in their lives, introvert, or whatever. It is completely normal and acceptable to just not want to hang out or talk with someone.

Although I understand your friend not wanting to wait for a reply (especially if she’s feeling lonely, maybe even depressed, or just needs someone to talk to for any reason or none at all), it is unreasonable to expect people to just drop everything and be there for her.

Having boundaries is definitely healthy, and I don’t think you’re in the wrong here (not that your friends are either, tho again, her line about not liking to wait does make her sound selfish). I don’t know if you’ve talked with your friends about this, how you need a bit more time for yourself sometimes. If you haven’t, maybe that could be a start…

Yes, because meeting people online is convenient, sometimes more realistic than meeting people irl, and sometimes it’s the only viable option to meet people, and because tinder is used pretty much everywhere and by a lot of people, it’s a better option than other dating sites/apps.

It’s a fucking shit app to finding a life partner due to people leaving their bios empty, and a good number of people looking for short term fun, so finding a long term partner comes down to luck.

Of course everybody can learn, but is anyone teaching them? I’m a millennial, I grew up with computers, but I had to learn a lot of things the hard way because it was just expected that we’d somehow become experts without anyone teaching us. We weren’t told about cybersecurity, or how to troubleshoot issues, I had to learn all those things by myself. And learning to troubleshoot and other more technical things I only learned because I’m actually interested in computers. Many of my peers aren’t, and so don’t know even the most basic things.

Growing up with technology doesn’t automatically grant you knowledge of it. Kids that grow up with iPads are capable of using iPads, but sit them in front of a computer and they’ll be lost. Being technically literate is more than just being able to install an app from the app store.

Oon muutamaan otteeseen kuullut juttua kyseenalaisesta johdosta ynnä muusta hämärästä, mutta koskaan kukaan ei oo suoraan sanonu mikä TST:ssä on vikana. Pahimillaan niitä kritisoijia vaan vitutti miten huomionhakuiselta koko homma vaikutti (mikä tosin on se pointti…).

I do fine nowdays in terms of going outside. I don’t like it, and when I don’t have to I won’t, but I’ve also tried going out, like attending work events, last time a massive party. It wasn’t the worst, but they didn’t have the alcohol I drink and it just ended up being kinda boring. I didn’t really meet anyone new, or do anything interesting. Public transport is no longer an issue for me, I’m anxious about it, but I’ve managed to get to where I want and back just fine, and every successful trip (even if the train is full and I don’t get an ideal seat) is another small confidence boost.

For some anti-depressants work, for me it’s a no. To add to what I mentioned earlier, I’m also an overdose risk, so I try to have the least amount of medication around me. I’d need to have someone who’d keep my meds locked away from me and supervise me taking them in order for me to feel safe, and well, don’t have anyone like that. As of late, my depressive periods are not that common or long anymore either, but they are brutal. I go from feeling normal to thinking about killing myself (not actively planning or trying tho) in a matter of hours, and a few days or hours later I’m back to normal.

I’d say the feel to need useful is just the need for acceptance. I saw a post few days ago, a screenshot from tumblr, about how some people make themselves as low maintenance as possible, due to trauma. Underneath that, another tumblr user wrote: “You don’t believe you can be liked so you settle for being useful.” You, or anyone else reading this, deserve to be loved and cared for, even if you aren’t “useful.” We all bring provide something to this world with our unique experiences, thoughts, and ideas.

Luckily my job is fairly stress free (other than being pissed about my coworkers not cleaning after themselves and my need to work hard to try and gain acceptance) and I only work 3 days a week. Plus I get to eat a lot of chocolate. :P But on the other hand it isn’t enough money to live off of, and my skills are wasted. I am now stressing over my job because I have a mystery illness and I’m unsure if I can keep working there anymore. I don’t know what other job I could do. I was for years without income and if it wasn’t for the kindness of others, I would have been in debt and homeless. I’m scared that will become reality again. I just fail to see why, or how, I’m supposed to keep going when there just doesn’t seem to be a future. Even if I found a job, it would need to pay a lot in order for me to get my own apartment, even a small one. I feel like my only way of finding a place to live is to find a sugar daddy or a well earning man willing to marry me, but I don’t want to be a gold digger. Or have a relationship based on the need for shelter.

I’ve just barely gotten over my agoraphobia to get a shit min wage job, so traveling will be out of the questions for a while. Even if I had the money, I can’t see myself enjoying going somewhere by myself. I’d be scared of getting robbed and raped on top of being terrified of going outside and dealing with people. I just don’t want to do things by myself anymore.

Eh, medication won’t remove the depression, mostly it just levels off your mood. Sure, you won’t feel so sad anymore, but you won’t feel the high highs either. I don’t think being lonely and missing having people to share your life with makes you dependent on other people, we’re social animals after all and we all have a need for socialization, attention, intimacy, etc. Those are basic needs, just like hydration and sleep.

I don’t mind being alone for the most part, I have a lot of things I want to do and those activities are (mostly) solitary. Still, there are certain things that I crave others for. I want to go out, to concerts, party, travel, have a good time, and I want to do that with others. I feel like I used to handle loneliness in a better way, but now I’m just feeling depressed and slightly suicidal over it. And I don’t know how to fix it…

I constantly feel lonely, but too socially anxious to go out and try to socialize. Keeping existing friendships alive or forming new ones is also something I struggle with.

I’m mostly a lurker, pretty rarely commenting and posting even less, but I’m trying to be more active on lemmy. I just don’t feel like I ever have anything interesting to contribute to any discussion.

Same. Dating apps are hell and I’m way too introverted to go out and meet people. Been trying to put myself out there, got a job (everyone is either too young, couple are too old, and they’re already in a relationship anyway), I go to work events (last time a massive party where most people were from outside the company), but nah, still too scared to approach anyone and I guess I look unapproachable myself. Also the country I live in isn’t exactly the type where people would just chat to randos. So yeah… more cats it is, I guess…

I was at a classmate’s apartment and her very drunk stepdad came over. My classmate was getting ready to go out and I was just chilling on the couch and the stepdad sat next to me, trying to hold a conversation. He put his legs on my lap, trapping me in the corner of the couch. I don’t remember what he was saying, but at one point he sits up, grabs my head with both hands and licks my face from my chin to my forehead. When I told about it to a trusted adult later that day, they just laughed with me about it. Years later I really wish they wouldn’t have…