I think there’s a lot of brash young people who are looking to be contrarian and find an identity that they were missing, but don’t have the guidance and manners to be able to carry themselves in a more diplomatic fashion. I imagine they get there similarly to you, but grab the identity too quickly and attempt to embody the most extreme form they can.

Some probably do come from families or communities where religion was used to be hostile toward them for whatever reason or their desires did not match the requirements that the faith that was hoisted onto them.

Thus, when they left the faith, they had feelings of vengeance. Which is understandable, but continuing the cycle of unpleasantry to a different group of people doesn’t help anyone.

Thus, when they find atheism, they immediately go for anti-theism at the same time.

I think for me, I respect people that behave with the same attitude on both sides; you need to interact with and live in the secular , physical world and the ideas of the beyond are for everyone to keep private and respect the personal conduct of others.

Secular ethics help align everyone in a fair public moral structure and if your personal ethics give you additional obligations, that’s on you.