no, but it does pass the Smurfdel Smurf

God, we were truly robbed of one of history’s greatest power vacuums. That shit would’ve made the Death of Stalin look like a church picnic. It starts with Vance saying he should be the obvious front-runner because he was totally the pick for VP, you just gotta trust him guys, he doesn’t have anything in writing because it was a secret handshake deal but he was totally gonna be the VP, ask anyone, and it ends with Ron DeSantis burying Mike Pence in cement while Nikki Haley soaks the convention center in gasoline.

I was thinking a sock full of old batteries might be cheaper if you buy in bulk.

Better close your fuckin eyes then 'cause I don’t play this game

Call me when they get a baseball team. I wanna see the St. Louis Cardinals square off against the Actual Cardinals.

motherfucker could’ve died of a ruptured appendix and they’d still probably claim Bill Gates remote-detonated a microchip in his bloodstream to do it

Obviously not. Too small a target.

…Yeah, this is fully just somebody’s blog and I can’t even view it without creating an account. Last time I saw something like this it was just a bunch of LLM-generated nonsense summaries of other news articles that clearly didn’t have an actual person double-checking their work.

I can’t, of course, confirm if that’s what this is, because I can’t view it without creating an account, but even that in itself isn’t very reassuring, credibility-wise.

and for that not-so-special someone…

Just don’t forget to use a VPN so your ISP can’t see what cargo ships you’re plundering.

And I hate the modern era of algorithm-driven half-assed self-censorship, so this should be great for both of us

Man, fuck this horseshit.

“Oh, sorry, man - first door on the left is the bathroom, first door on the right is the Nether hub. I always get those backwards…”

Looks like a juvenile, too, based on the color of the beak and the general gawky teenager energy.

“Djinn”, specifically, being the correct word choice. We’re way past fun-loving blue cartoon Robin Williams genies granting wishes, doing impressions of Jack Nicholson and getting into madcap hijinks. We’re back into fuckin’… shapeshifting cobras woven of fire and dust by the archdevil Iblis, hiding in caves and slithering out into the desert at night to tempt mortal men to sin. That mythologically-accurate shit.

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he’s stationed up in Stuttgart so he’s gotta make do with the cheapo European crayons, they always skimp on the lead in those things