Haha, yeah, I guess :D what kind of cravings are present in your family?
I was on no painkillers, I simply forgot to ask for that as the contractions took up all my mental focus… It would have made it a lot more comfortable, but oh well ^^
C sections are so fascinating, if I would have needed one, I would have loved to have a transparent screen, so that I can see what they are doing. But yeah, I’m glad I didn’t need one.
Usually its weird in that they would not regularly eat too much of something, as … a lot of people in my family are picky eaters (cough neurotic cough) but like…
Suddenly, its time for 5 pickles per day, for basically weeks.
Or… some particular kind of sausage or meat with a very specific seasoning flavor profile, has to be that exact brand/flavor/mix.
Oh well, most of my family is literally nuts (have actual diagnosed fairly serious mental disorders), so … yay my family line!
But uh yeah… ironically, in a misguided idiot attempt to screen me for some kind of one of those disorders or something, I got a botched spinal tap, against my will, from a quack… my dad thought this could somehow screen me for rheumatoid arthritis, before I finished puberty.
Basically no one develops rheumatoid arthritis until like their 40s.
Theres nothing that a spinal tap accomplishes that screens for that.
… I was having minor growing pains from puberty.
Anyway, reason I mention all that is to make a kind of dark and edgy joke about how I guess I’ve come closer than you have to having an epidural =P
Hahaha, what a tangent, I love it! But yeah, that sounds fucked up… I hope you are well, and that you have only the kind of contact to your family that you want to have :)
Not well at the moment, but recovery and PT is ongoing and making slow but steady progress.
And, I do have the amount of contact with my family that I desire … that amount is 0, they probably think I am dead.
Yeah, I’m not gonna be continuing my family line, but, I still recognize that a functional family, a wanted and well cared for child… well, that’s a beautiful thing that should be celebrated.
That sounds healthy, like you are taking good care of yourself 🤗
And I totally get the ‘no contact’ with family, sometimes they hold us back, keep us in toxic dynamics, so it’s the best thing to get rid of that…
I wish you a wonderful weekend, thank you for this exchange, and sorry for sometimes taking longer to respond!
Uh, hah, no problem with the delay, makes for an unexpected surprise!
Hope your weekend goes well too.
But uh, yeah, this last stunt they pulled very nearly directly resulted in my death, beyond the injuries I am still recovering from, so uh… after a life time of their instability, immense drama, drug problems, criminal behavior, constant gaslighting, guilt tripping, hypocrisy, and insatiable need for validation…
Yep, I’m done now.
Though I am still not fully recovered, simply being away from them has done wonders for my mental health.
Oh my god, that sounds horrible! That must have been super rough, I had my small share of gaslighting in a past relationship, and that alone was tough to get away from, so I can’t imagine how you managed to live through all of it and eventually to get away from it! And almost dying because of them, that is a whole different level! I’m glad you are alive and I wish you a quick and full recovery!
I am… kind of emotionally dead inside, not entirely, I still laugh and cry, but at the level of attempting to have any kind of … real relationship with anyone, so, I’m not very good at … conveying gratitude, or warmth.
Apparently this is part of what is called hyper vigilance, a kind of consistent/persistent PTSD side effect.
I’ve spent too long learning the hard way that trust is impossible, love is conditional and flows only one way.
I… logically know that those things are not true.
But instinctively… they are.
… sorry to get so dark.
Anyway, yes, the recovery is slow but progressing.
Two years ago I was in a wheel chair.
6 months ago I needed either a cane or crutches and a bunch of braces to move around for more than ~30 minutes.
As of roughly two weeks ago, I can manage 30 minutes without anything, though it is painful and I have to be very careful, I usually still use the cane and one or two braces.
So… steady as she goes, this is working, just, slowly.
Haha, yeah, I guess :D what kind of cravings are present in your family?
I was on no painkillers, I simply forgot to ask for that as the contractions took up all my mental focus… It would have made it a lot more comfortable, but oh well ^^
C sections are so fascinating, if I would have needed one, I would have loved to have a transparent screen, so that I can see what they are doing. But yeah, I’m glad I didn’t need one.
Usually its weird in that they would not regularly eat too much of something, as … a lot of people in my family are picky eaters (cough neurotic cough) but like…
Suddenly, its time for 5 pickles per day, for basically weeks.
Or… some particular kind of sausage or meat with a very specific seasoning flavor profile, has to be that exact brand/flavor/mix.
Oh well, most of my family is literally nuts (have actual diagnosed fairly serious mental disorders), so … yay my family line!
But uh yeah… ironically, in a misguided idiot attempt to screen me for some kind of one of those disorders or something, I got a botched spinal tap, against my will, from a quack… my dad thought this could somehow screen me for rheumatoid arthritis, before I finished puberty.
Basically no one develops rheumatoid arthritis until like their 40s.
Theres nothing that a spinal tap accomplishes that screens for that.
… I was having minor growing pains from puberty.
Anyway, reason I mention all that is to make a kind of dark and edgy joke about how I guess I’ve come closer than you have to having an epidural =P
Hahaha, what a tangent, I love it! But yeah, that sounds fucked up… I hope you are well, and that you have only the kind of contact to your family that you want to have :)
Not well at the moment, but recovery and PT is ongoing and making slow but steady progress.
And, I do have the amount of contact with my family that I desire … that amount is 0, they probably think I am dead.
Yeah, I’m not gonna be continuing my family line, but, I still recognize that a functional family, a wanted and well cared for child… well, that’s a beautiful thing that should be celebrated.
That sounds healthy, like you are taking good care of yourself 🤗
And I totally get the ‘no contact’ with family, sometimes they hold us back, keep us in toxic dynamics, so it’s the best thing to get rid of that… I wish you a wonderful weekend, thank you for this exchange, and sorry for sometimes taking longer to respond!
Uh, hah, no problem with the delay, makes for an unexpected surprise!
Hope your weekend goes well too.
But uh, yeah, this last stunt they pulled very nearly directly resulted in my death, beyond the injuries I am still recovering from, so uh… after a life time of their instability, immense drama, drug problems, criminal behavior, constant gaslighting, guilt tripping, hypocrisy, and insatiable need for validation…
Yep, I’m done now.
Though I am still not fully recovered, simply being away from them has done wonders for my mental health.
Oh my god, that sounds horrible! That must have been super rough, I had my small share of gaslighting in a past relationship, and that alone was tough to get away from, so I can’t imagine how you managed to live through all of it and eventually to get away from it! And almost dying because of them, that is a whole different level! I’m glad you are alive and I wish you a quick and full recovery!
Thank you.
I am… kind of emotionally dead inside, not entirely, I still laugh and cry, but at the level of attempting to have any kind of … real relationship with anyone, so, I’m not very good at … conveying gratitude, or warmth.
Apparently this is part of what is called hyper vigilance, a kind of consistent/persistent PTSD side effect.
I’ve spent too long learning the hard way that trust is impossible, love is conditional and flows only one way.
I… logically know that those things are not true.
But instinctively… they are.
… sorry to get so dark.
Anyway, yes, the recovery is slow but progressing.
Two years ago I was in a wheel chair.
6 months ago I needed either a cane or crutches and a bunch of braces to move around for more than ~30 minutes.
As of roughly two weeks ago, I can manage 30 minutes without anything, though it is painful and I have to be very careful, I usually still use the cane and one or two braces.
So… steady as she goes, this is working, just, slowly.