The behaviour was based on Windows desktop apps in the 90s

Ah, so that’s why it was chosen as the default here.

When I first signed up here, or tried to sign up here, join-lemmy just didn’t want to load anything. So I ended up going to bed and trying again the next morning. The next morning, it finally loaded the list of instances and going by the experience I had just had with the website battling to even load anything, I chose an instance advertised as “join here to reduce load on larger instances”. And this instance just didn’t want to load anything properly. Half of the images in posts just weren’t showing up. And when I searched LGBTQ+ and feminist communities, only dead communities showed up and I’m pretty sure nothing from Blåhaj.

Then I went to world and still found it to be a ghost town. Eventually I realised that it was because ‘English’ wasn’t selected in my language settings. Because I didn’t realise that you have to ctrl click to select both ‘undefined’ and ‘English’. I’ve used software where you have to ctrl click but I’m not sure I’ve ever come across another website where this is the case. And on this note, the whole fact that ‘undefined’ even exists as an option comes across as bush league and makes it look like a beta version.

Then there’s another issue here. The god damn internal politics. So someone signs up on the insurance that says “focused on programming and development”, then have everyone calling them a tankie or be cut off from multiple instances that have de-federated. It’s clear to me now that ‘ml’ stands for “Marxist Leninist” but when you’re new here and just looking at descriptions in join-lemmy, it just looks like a unique url like all the others.

Personally I think there’s a lot of reasons that people would give up trying to get started here. That’s before even trying to break them ice with a silly question in AskLemmy and getting snarky snark and smart asses in the replies. And I use that as an example because in my first week here, I saw someone post an innocent question in AskLemmy, get hostility as a response, then leave.

Yeah fuck them lol. I’d like to see how their platform does without users. Then it’ll just be a fun little coding project for them, nothing more. There’s already other options. At least Piefed is actively working on adding missing features and improving the end user experience. And isn’t stuck in 1999.

It’s very cool that they built this platform and much appreciated. But if they’re then going to turn around and act like trans people shouldn’t be concerned about transphobia if it comes from one of their own, because we should all be grateful and thankful to our overlords instead, then they can shove their fkn half baked platform.

Take time to be a better person. Doing that fights them just as well as all the other stuff.

That is a great way of reframing it. And honestly it is a big help right now with the way I’ve been thinking lately. So thank you for taking the time to post this, seriously. I’ve got some thoughts that need rearranging now.

I’m in a similar space right now. Tired of being angry. Tired of feeling bad about things I said earlier when the people who it was said to will never feel bad about a thing in their lives. In a perfect world I would spend my days online looking at cat pictures, not despairing while these clowns dismantle women’s rights, trans rights, gay rights, religious freedom, environmental protections, workers rights etc. and their idiot legion thinking it’s all just wonderful.

It’s a catch 22 for me because I cannot and will not keep quiet. I’ve spent my life fighting these fucking people and I’m not about to stop now that the fight is more important than ever. Even if it most likely won’t amount to anything, considering that 50% of the world’s population seems to have been replaced by pod people over the last decade.

So I dunno. I’m personally at odds with being at a point in my life where I’d like to calm down and focus on arts and good conversation and being a better person; while the state of the world calls for people with spines more than ever.

Captain Planet’s enemies are now running the world and openly dismantling environmental protections like it’s a matter of pride to them. And half the people that grew up watching Captain Planet voted them in.

group of 100 men came over immediately and encircled me

Wow check out these alpha chads over here. How brave and heroic of them to mob assault an individual woman for having a scarf on her face. What fine people to share a society with.

Ah fuck is Katy Perry actually cool?

Edit: didn’t think I’d need to indicate that I was speaking in jest but /s

Before they mention any backwards conservative bigot views, or throw their trash out the window of a moving a car, or treat minimum wage staff like dirt, I’m afraid to say that a big red flag for me personally is being religious.

And it’s not just because christians seem to be leading the charge in supporting right wing piece of shit politicians. It’s not just because they have looked the other way for decades while priests molest kids but treat drag queens reading books in a public library as the ultimate sin.

It’s from a lifetime of these people telling me that all the cartoons I enjoyed and music I listened to was going to send me to hell. It’s from believing in the first place that anyone different from you deserves to literally burn for eternity and not seeing a problem with that. It’s because of every christian that ever told me that only humans have souls and that other animals are just meat robots to use and abuse. It’s because of my reborn christian hostel master that used to go on long lectures about how KISS stands for Kids In Satan’s Service. And all of the other super racist, super christian piece of shit teachers in that school. It’s because of every christian that I have eaten a meal with that insists on holding hands and saying grace without once asking or checking what my beliefs are, or even giving a shit.

I have a lifelong suspicion and distrust of religious people and nothing that has been happening in the world socio-politically in the last decade has improved that suspicion, in fact it’s just made it worse.

So even if you claim to be a 'left wing christian" (like fucking for virginity) or try to tell me that most christians are decent people, all of the evidence says otherwise and tells me that christians are dogmatic and unempathetic and will support dogmatic and unempathetic leaders the first chance they get. And that makes us enemies.

The same goes for all monotheistic religions but a single out christianity here based on my own life experience.

Cringe is teenagers and 20 somethings hero worshipping Joe Rogan and supporting right wing christian nationalists. Lamest fucking generation around. Even boomers had a hippie phase before becoming old and bitter. Gen Z just skipped that and went straight to the conformist bootlicker phase.

I think Blåhaj handled this person well over all. Even if Drag wad just 100% troll, drag wasn’t being fed in Blåhaj and had to go elsewhere. But also there was always the chance that drag is just someone on a journey or with things to sort out. Some people have completely given up on being any gender and treat it like a joke in an almost nihilistic way. But clearly there’s a line between that and an actual troll.

Either way, I wouldn’t say that it’s standard heterosexual cisgender behaviour to go as far as Drag did just for the lulz. So maybe one of these days, Drag will have an awakening and remember how no one in the community either fed drag or shunned drag when drag was confused and behaving badly.

Thanks for your input.

May I ask what steps you take to try and meet a partner? I’m asking because I’m pretty lonely too but that’s because I actually never go out and meet people these days. Unfortunately most people have the idea that starting relationships in the workplace is not the way to go, even though you spend 90% of your life there. So you have to go out to clubs and pubs and shit and actually meet and mingle with strangers. Honestly I’m not sure what other options there are besides the workplace or clubbing.

I think that maybe something that is failing the always online Z generation (besides the toxic ‘manosphere’) is dating apps. They seem to be a bust and need to be ditched. Those apps are just there to harvest your data and make a buck from you. If they were to actually help you find love, then that company would lose a customer and source of data or income.

So I don’t know what else to say other than, you need to actually go out and meet new people in order to potentially meet your person. And it also helps grooming yourself a bit, making sure to shave the neck beard and chin strap and looking like someone that is actually capable of taking care of themselves. That goes a long way in showing potential partners that you’re not just looking for another mother to take care of you. And also, find a style and own it. You don’t need to follow fashion trends, just look for a subculture or something that you vibe with and can feel confident wearing.

Just note, not trying to judge or anything. I actually don’t know, maybe you’re a party animal with an awesome dress sense lol. Just trying to throw a few ideas out there for you.

Edit: editing to address this too: “move onto the next stage of life: starting a family.”

Keep that to yourself. If you come on too strong and too soon, people are going to run away from you.

In fact I’d go as far as saying, drop that heavy shit from your mind right now. Go into things without expectations. Sometimes it’ll just result in a night of fun and nothing more but people don’t want to be chained, especially when they’re just getting to know someone. Keep it light and keep the thoughts of wedding bells and children away. At least until you’re sure that not only have you found the one, but also that your ‘one’ even feels the same way about you.

Man: “I’m so lonely and I need help!”

Bystander: “You’re lonely because you listen to people like Andrew Tate and treat women like shit. Try working on yourself to be a better person, so that people will actually be attracted to you.”

Man: “Stop oppressing me, you sexist feminazi! The woke agenda is erasing white men and now just because you had the nerve to point out my flaws after I asked for help, I’m gonna punch a wall and vote for someone who will take your rights away.”

Bystander: “Oh ok. Enjoy your loneliness and self pity then.”

Moderator: Comments removed for sexism against a marginalized group

Everyone: “Why is no one helping guide men onto the right path? How could this be happening?!”

Reddit is definitely trying the ragebait thing from what I saw before I left. With however the algorithm works there these days, /r/all actually got pretty good at showing me more of what I’m interested in (same as adverts to be honest, I did not mind getting random romance fantasy novels and shit advertised to me), which made me even more suspicious every time it would slip /r/conservative into my feed, even if the post only had like 10 upvotes.

And maybe it’s just in my imagination but I would especially start seeing subs like conservative after literally just being active in subreddits that shit on conservatives. So it felt a lot to me like Reddit’s algorithm was actively trying to bait me at times to get into fights in places I should just ignore or block.