[seeking input from people who use female restrooms]

Hello! I have been using women’s restrooms for some time now. Tonight however, will be the first time that I will be going out with some girlfriends where public toilets will be involved. Everyone I am going with knows that I am trans, and is supportive. My questions/concerns are:

  • If I get up to use the bathroom, should I ask anyone if they would like to come with?
  • If another woman gets up, should I offer to go with?
  • If we are using the restroom at the same time, and I finish first, should I wait for them? If so, inside, or outside?

I’m mostly just wanting to act “normal,” and don’t want to unknowingly perform any social faux pas. Thanks!

  • LadyAutumn@lemmy.blahaj.zoneMEnglish
    12·
    20 days ago

    I generally dont ask if anyone wants to come with. If anyone has to go I feel like they usually will be like oh I have to go too and then come along. Sometimes I will ask close friends if they have to go too. Especially if the bathrooms are far from where we’re sitting / dancing.

    If you also have to go at the same time yeah for sure you can be like oh ill come with i have to go too.

    I do wait if we’re both going to the bathroom at the same time. Usually just stand by the door after I wash my hands. But it depends how well I know the person ig and if we had been talking. Some women are super chatty and will talk to you the whole time haha but I feel like most of us aren’t. It’s just nice to group up.

    • dandelion (she/her)@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
      1·
      7 days ago

      @Kayday@lemmy.blahaj.zone

      this sounds right to me, but I think it’s also important to be sensitive to the local norms of the group you are in … I wouldn’t assume there are global rules, and what is comfortable or expected will vary.

      That’s not necessarily helpful, but it might be good to know that it’s better to be relaxed and receptive than rigid and anxiously following a rulebook.

      I wouldn’t generally ask if anyone wants to join me going to the restroom, but I might in some contexts announce I need to and will be going, allowing others to join if they want. In some contexts announcing also allows coordinating in case someone needs to stay to keep a table or spot reserved, and it can then sometimes be more like a question of consent that it’s ok if I go (because my going might restrict their going in that situation).